Just to set the scene (because I don’t know when you might be reading this) I’m writing this on Valentine’s Day, that one day of the year when LOVE is in the air, (together with inflated flower prices, and ‘no room at the inn’ at your favourite local pizzeria :-)). Given the title of this post, I’m guessing that many of you reading this may not be feeling overly romantic right now. But, odd as it might sound, I’d like to take this Valentine’s Day opportunity to post a few thoughts about ‘love’ and how, especially when you’re divorcing, it can be helpful to be reminded of it’s powerful importance.
Here at DivorceHotel, we often find ourselves working with clients who have reached the point where they no longer want to proceed along the acrimonious and bitter divorce path that they first set out on. Clients often contact us after wasting many thousands of pounds in legal fees ‘slugging it out’ with each other. Eventually the creeping realisation that bitterness is only making matters worse serves as a turning point. Having made a decision to put a line in the sand of bitterness and take a U turn and work together more positively clients call us to engage with the #DivorceHotel process so we can help them to reach a positive (and yes, amicable) conclusion to their marriage. We pride ourselves on knowing that our clients, whilst still experiencing the pain and sadness that inevitably accompanies divorce, are at least happy with the way their divorce is going.
Can you say the same? If your answer to the question in the post’s title is “No, not really”, can I invite you, just for a moment, to put bitter thoughts about your partner to one side. Go on, try hard….just for a moment. (Yes, I do know how hard that can be, I have been on this journey myself).
A question. Why did you get married in the first place?
That answer? I bet I know…..
OK, a lot of water has gone under the bridge since you said “I Do”, but whatever has happened to bring you to this stage of divorce can I suggest that, going forward, both of you may be better served by focusing on working positively on your future rather than fighting over your past. The divorce process is not the time to punish your spouse. You may feel like it, but can I suggest you take those punishing thoughts and feelings to a supportive friend (or maybe a therapist) and discharge them that way. I promise you it will be much better in the long run.
So, to conclude, my Valentine’s Day wish for you is that you achieve the most loving divorce you can possibly have. If you don’t believe that it really is possible, get in touch and I can send you some DivorceHotel TV / video clips of our clients – the proof really is in the pudding!
I look forward to maybe hearing from you.